Communication: Positive Parenting Prevents Drug Abuse

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Are you able to communicate calmly and clearly with your teenager regarding relationship problems, such as jealousy or need for attention?

Good communication between parents and children is the foundation of strong family relationships. Developing good communication skills helps parents catch problems early, support positive behavior, and stay aware of what is happening in their children’s lives.

Relationship Problems and Clear Communication

• Negative example: Mom gets defensive
• Positive example: Mom is understanding

YouTube embedded video: http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/EBI7V7rjWJE

Before you begin:

• Be sure it’s a good time to talk and you can focus one hundred percent on communicating with your child.
• Have a plan.
• Gather your thoughts before you approach your child.
• Be calm and patient.
• Limit distractions.

Key communication skills include:

Questioning

The kind of information you receive depends a lot on how you ask the question.

• Show interest/concern. Don't blame/accuse. For example, instead of, "How do you get yourself into these situations?" say, "That sounds like a difficult situation. Were you confused?"
• Encourage problem-solving/thinking. For example: Instead of, "What did you think was going to happen when you don't think?" say, "So, what do you think would have been a better way to handle that?"

Listening and observing

• Youth feel more comfortable bringing issues and situations to their parents when they know they will be listened to and not be accused.

Extra Tips

• Be present and tuned in.
• Show understanding.
• Listen with respect.
• Be interested.
• Avoid negative emotions.
• Give encouragement.

Reducing Emotion

Sometimes, talking with children brings up strong feelings that interfere with clear thinking. Following the CALM steps can help a parent keep the conversation moving in the right direction:

• Control your thoughts and your actions.
• Assess and decide if you are too upset to continue.
• Leave the situation if you are feeling too angry or upset.
• Make a plan to deal with the situation within 24 hours.

Practice Skill

Video: Active Listening

YouTube embedded video: http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/kCgZ-6JrwlI

When listening to your child, remember:

• Show understanding.
• Repeat back or summarize what your child said.
• Practice patience.
• Emphasize positive behaviors and choices.

Positive parenting prevents drug abuse

Learn more about addiction, the brain, and positive parenting. 

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Encouragement promotes a strong sense of self because it sends three main messages to your child:

1. You can do it! Youth believe they can do things if parents:

• help them break a problem down into smaller parts
• remind them of their strengths and past successes
• encourage them by sharing how they have dealt with challenges

2. You have good ideas! Youth believe they have good ideas if parents:

• ask them to share their opinions and feelings
• listen to what they have to say
• ask them for input concerning family plans and events
• ask them for ideas to solve family problems

3. You are important! Youth know they are important if parents:

• remember what they have told them
• make time for them each day
• attend school functions and extracurricular activities
• let them know that they are thinking about them when they can’t be with them
• display things they have made and recognitions they receive from school or the community

Examples of Encouraging Words

• "I know that wasn’t easy."
• "You did such an awesome job."
• "Keep on trying."
• "You are very good at that."
• "You are learning a lot."
• "I like the way you did that."
• "I can tell you’ve been practicing."
• "It’s great to see you working so hard."
• "I’m so proud of you."

Practices That are Discouraging

• Being sarcastic or negative about a child’s ability to be successful
• Comparing a child to brothers and sisters
• Taking over when a child’s progress is slow
• Reminding a child of past failures 
• Source. NIDA.gov

The Addiction Crisis: New Education Series for Parents, Teachers, Other Concerned Individuals

Please join us...for your family, for yourself.

Save the dates and register now for our "Network of Support: The Addiction Crisis and Our Families." A four-part conference call series on the basics of drug addiction as a brain disease and strategies for parents, teachers, and social workers to better cope with this crisis. PLEASE SHARE THIS EMAIL WITH YOUR COLLEAGUES, CLIENTS, ETC.

Network of Support: The Addiction Crisis and Our Families A four-part conference-call series for educators, parents, social workers, and other concerned individuals. Tuesdays--July 18, July 25, August 1, and August 8. 11:00 am-12:00 pm EDT or Wednesdays, July 19. July 26. August 2. and August 9, 7:00 pm-8:00 pm EDT. Presented by Fred Elia, president, A Thousand Moms, and David Balog, author, Dana Foundation’s Sourcebook of Brain Science and Healing the Brain: Stress, Trauma and LGBT/Q Youth. Overdoses are now the leading cause of death in Americans under 50. Only 1 in 4 Americans with opioid addiction are getting the treatment they need. The national opioid addiction crisis is poised to get even worse as new synthetic drugs are introduced. The consequences for the foster care system are stark, and in particular, for LGBT/Q youth in foster care. Presented in clear, uncomplicated language To empower participants, coverage in this series will include the basic science behind addiction and why this understanding is so important. Each session will also offer practical strategies for coping with current or potential abuse by a loved one. Topics and dates: Program:   How the Brain Works; Why is addiction a brain disease and why does it matter? Positive Parenting Prevents Drug Abuse: Communication. 60 mins Tues., July 18. 11:00 am - 12:00 pm EDT., or Wed., July 19. 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm EDT.    Opioid/Heroin Abuse: From prescription painkiller to killer. Positive Parenting Prevents Drug Abuse: Encouragement, Negotiation. 60 mins Tues., July 25. 11:00 am - 12:00 pm EDT or Wed., July 26. 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm EDT.    Methamphetamines, Cocaine: Dopamine, the body's life-or-death chemical. Positive Parenting Prevents Drug Abuse: Setting Limits, Supervision. 60 mins. Tues., Aug. 1. 11:00 am - 12:00 pm EDT or Wed., Aug. 2. 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm EDT.    Alcohol, Marijuana: Different means and underestimated. Positive Parenting Prevents Drug Abuse: Knowing your child's friends.60 mins. Tues, Aug. 8. 11:00 am - 12:00 pm EDT. or Wed., Aug. 9. 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm EDT.  Cost: Organizations, $30 per session, or $100 for all 4 sessions (unlimited access). Individuals: $15 per session, $40 for the entire series. Scholarships available on a limited basis. Write or call to inquire. Contributions are tax deductible. Lines are limited. RSVP ASAP by July 9 to athousandmoms@yahoo.com or call 518 322-0607. Reserve your line with a contribution to www.AThousandMoms.org Checks can be mailed to A Thousand Moms, 2367 Curry Road, Schenectady NY 12303. You will be notified by email of the number to call, with the log-in code. Handouts for each session will be e-mailed to participants.